Be Selfish or let Perish

What irritates more — people around us don’t give a damn about our feeling, or they unable to understand, or they understand but still pretend as innocent or we, despite knowing the exact reason not been able to speak or open up on it.

I think keeping things to self is the most irritating thing one can feel. It even irritates when this happens with the close ones.

Sometimes it gives severe pain to go through this. When it happens you see it throughout the day, from morning tea, walking to work, the files, tasks you are at till the night you sleep.

That thought of irritation doesn’t leave us for a single moment. It’s like with every breath-in and breathe-out we are seeing it, experiencing it.

Why do we suffer so much, we know if we open up, without thinking of others’ feeling, it will straighten up, it will make everything clear, who is at the fault.

This ‘clearing up of the things’ will make whoever is accountable for the respective things and unloads lot of stress from oneself.

But seldom it happens. We don’t have guts to go that far. We fear, that it will break the whole system of relationship.

The system of carrying the age old tradition of bearing it for our people till the time we break and collapse.

Once that happens, then the person will be called as the one who sacrifice for their closed ones. That praise, how he managed, endured so much and didn’t let anyone know about it — erasing self, the own emotions, ambitions literally day by day.

But will that make us happy — no and never it will. One will be happy only when the people around us know, what we have gone through for them. But then it will be called more of selfishness than the self-care.

Being selfish for self-care is allowed?…don’t know.

Literally don’t know how to behave in such situations, which are almost daily ones. Not able to decide whether to be selfish or let self-perish.