Maturity or Helplessness?

If the neighbour’s radio is blaring, we should assume it’s playing for us. That way, the mental discomfort reduces; that’s what P. L. Deshpande, an Indian author, wrote in one of his books.

No matter how much you tell someone, it makes no difference if they are not in a state to listen. Most importantly, if we can’t stop that thing in any way, then the only choice left is to find peace in accepting it.

As children or in our youth, when such things happened, we would immediately rebel. We would promptly respond to someone’s “Hey, you” with rolling up our sleeves.

But gradually, that attitude diminishes. That’s exactly what has happened with me. Perhaps this is what is sweetly referred to as “maturity”, or more bluntly as “helplessness”.

Such situations occur repeatedly — at home, outside, on the road, in the office, everywhere.

Nowadays, waiting at the traffic signal has become an act of foolishness. Stopping immediately when the signal turns red is considered silly. And especially if there’s a big, luxury vehicle behind you with a party flag or a sticker on it, then stopping in front of that car is considered utter stupidity.

That person doesn’t feel the need to follow any rules. So we [call it maturity or helplessness], assume maybe he’s in a hurry, and we make way for him. Then, as he passes by, even though the red signal is still on, he looks at us through his window as if stopping at the red light was our foolishness.

So nowadays, I prefer to stay a bit behind at the signal. Then seeing such rule-breakers doesn’t cause me distress.

The people upstairs are always making noise, with loud footsteps all day and night. Told them once or twice, but nothing changed. After all, they’re neighbours, so to preserve neighbourly relations, we stay quiet [call it maturity or helplessness].

In trains, buses, and even to some extent in air travel, there’s no sense of decorum left. Playing loud music on mobile phones, speaking loudly, there’s no consideration that someone might be disturbed.

So in such situations, we end up trying to listen to that music or take interest in those conversations, even when we don’t want to.

Many such examples can be given.

Time and again, such “maturity” or helplessness surfaces.

Some people still rise in rebellion in such moments. They don’t hesitate to give or take a few words back. But in such moments, we step back. Even when someone from among us tries to raise their voice for our suffering, we lack the will to stand with them.

And then we realise, this is not maturity, nor helplessness — this is cowardice.

So why does this cowardice arise? Why didn’t we hold back like this when we were younger or in our youth? Why are we retreating now?

Perhaps it’s because back then, we had no burdens of responsibility, no worries about what would happen next, no patience to step back, or maybe, we had more fire to prove that we were no less than anyone else.

And now, now we feel, if a quarrel breaks out, if our car bumps into theirs, something inappropriate might happen. Then who is there to look after the family?

A fight breaks out, and in today’s system, where money and power dominate, can we stand our ground?

So we step back a little, become a little “small”, and people begin calling us cowards. But then, what difference does it make?

We’re not afraid of fights or of taking up with someone, but we fear dealing with the aftermath. So all of this happens for that reason.

Anyway, so be it.