That Feeling to Rush and Hug the Loved One…Right Away

Remember the first day of school, that kindergarten class?

My faintest memory takes me to almost 35 years ago and I recollect it properly, I see myself in a mood that I lost myself.

There are other kids, feeling the same, the way I was going through that time.

There were many like me. There were teachers, a class full of toys to play with, chocolates, and candies.

But, what we were looking for was our mothers, that feeling and that endless waiting of them.

At that age, we didn’t count the time in hours. Like the pet dog, who keeps waiting for its master, without looking at the watch, not knowing the math of the time, hours, and minutes.

At that age, our minds don’t even think about the betrayal, thinking about why our moms left us here, and what wrong we did.

After some time, we knew that crying and creating issues wouldn’t help, so we made ourselves amenable to that atmosphere.

To behave and act, as instructed/taught by the teachers.

A for apple, B for ball, C, D…, what is your name, jump, run, play, slide.

We kept doing, whatever had been told, and teachers felt that we were finally enjoying ourselves, but deep inside, we were aching to get to Mother, to hug her so strongly, not to leave here thereafter.

Now, what made me write about this after 35 years?

Lately, I have the feeling to leave the office, and the work I am doing and go right away and hug my love.

Cry without any reason and expect her not to ask WHY?

Just spend a few moments with no interaction at all.

Relieve myself, and my emotions, causing me so much that I can’t express.

No, it’s not like I am in a grave situation, debt-trapped, or caught in any issue. By God’s grace nothing like that.

But I don’t know, why I feel that way.

It seems childlike. I scribbled and erased this write-up 2–3 times, but finally put it here.

I don’t know whether this happening with only me or with many sailing in the same boat.

Is this common at this age? I don’t know, but this is what I feel.

Is it the uncertainty about something, losing time, missing friends, the lost relations, the clash of egos, things not going the way we plan, others not having empathy about us…

I don’t know, but the reality is, I can’t do what I feel [to go and hug], at least right away.

It may be, also a cause of it.

Don’t know.