The Burden of Expectations

Parents raised us with great effort. We must honour their sacrifices by becoming a doctor, an engineer, or a successful person.

After marriage, the wife hopes her husband will take her out somewhere, perhaps on a trip or a carefree shopping spree occasionally.

Children expect their father to bring them new toys and expensive gadgets and take them on vacations.

Now that we’ve grown up, we want our parents to give us our freedom.

All of us are constantly burdened by the weight of such expectations. These are just the expectations of those in our immediate family — our blood relations.

Beyond that, friends, relationships, office colleagues, and many others also have some kind of expectations from us, and we have from them.

Even while walking on the road, if we stumble, we expect that a stranger should extend a hand to help us up. We sometimes even expect from strangers.

One thing is certain: having expectations is fine to an extent. But the insistence on fulfilling those expectations can be overwhelming, especially for the person from whom they are expected.

Expectations might arise because we take someone for granted. Years of closeness, excessive intimacy, a particular personality trait of someone, or their inability to say “no”, all these things contribute to the rise in expectations.

And so, this burden keeps growing. But the other person often never realises it, because it becomes a routine for them.

Parents raising their children is considered their duty, and both they and society expect that those children will care for them in old age.

Likewise, for children, caring for ageing parents is a duty, but they also expect that their childhood desires will be fulfilled.

When you look at it, the line between expectation and duty is very thin, almost blurry.

In today’s fast-paced life, a person is already exhausted from responsibilities, expenses, relationships, and unnecessary competition. On top of that, this ‘burden of expectations’ becomes even heavier.

But who is truly responsible for this?

The one who, without complaint, keeps striving to fulfil these expectations, making sacrifices? Or the one who, while placing these expectations, fails to understand the mental state of the other, or even knowing it, sees nothing wrong in doing so?

In such situations, the one trying to meet expectations must pause and reflect.

They must take a moment to evaluate what they’re doing.

Because the other person, knowingly or unknowingly, will never stop expecting.

And in this constant race of fulfilling expectations, the giver often loses his self, without even realising it.

Some lose their childhood, some their entire youth, money, time, mental or physical health, and some lose their whole lives.

The one who suffers most is someone close to this person.

They understand everything but are unable to act, sometimes due to being younger, sometimes due to respectful fear, and sometimes because they have no choice.

Watching this person suffer tears them apart inside.

But why does the person keep doing all this? What’s in it for them?

Perhaps they’ve created an image of themselves over the years, a persona they are proud of deep down, or maybe even a matter of ego.

They endure everything because they know even a single unfulfilled expectation could nullify all their efforts so far.

And that’s why they keep running, disregarding everything else, wearing themselves out.

But eventually, the day comes when this tireless giver becomes helpless.

It is impossible to fulfil all expectations in life.

And then comes disappointment.

All the past efforts of fulfilling expectations are forgotten because of one thing that couldn’t be done.

Then, both parties end up hurt. The other person, because their wish wasn’t fulfilled, and the tireless giver, because they feel that this one shortfall erased the image they had worked so hard to uphold.