Dad “EGO”

Dear Son,

You might get surprised post reading this letter, how come your father write to you despite being in the same home.

We talk on many things, we also do have a comparatively better, cordial, friendly relation for a father and son, and not like the conservative ‘father-son’ relationship shown in old movies, where all the discussion used to happen through a mediator – many a times through Mom.

So, why the need of putting it in letter format. I must tell you, as my nature, I won’t be able to talk certain things up-front and feel comfortable scribbling it.

Dear, as a father, we all do have a small ego, I would like to call it as ‘Dad ego’. Many of us may be having it and few may not, but I do have it.

Once in an interview by one of the cola giant’s global CEO, a lady, while talking about the work-life balance and expectations from family members, she said that a kid is a competitor to the husband.

I too think that, because after parents, a person thinks he has a full right of attention from his/her spouse.

You came and it got divided. Please don’t get it wrong, I too was happy with your arrival, same like your mother, not less.

As you grow up, obviously you got closer to your mom like many other boys, I think that’s why they call it as “mama’s boy” and not papa’s.

I can see that you are more free, upfront and open with your mom than me. You do talk to me, but the frankness you have with your mom, lacks during the talks with me.

May be my fault, or maybe I am not able to give much time.

I grew up in an atmosphere, where father-son relationships were not that casual, though I managed to reach that level of cracking ‘dad jokes’, where I used to laugh and you used to make boring faces.

Dude, I too want to have a clear, frank chat with you like your mom. But somewhere I get afraid that the frankness will make you not obey me the way I obeyed to my parents.

The friendly nature will make you take me for granted, the way you take your mom at many instances.

Man, I am not doubting your nature, I know you are a good son and will be a good citizen. But at home we all do get a bit more casual.

Many a times, when we discuss about your friends, [yes there happens this indirect comparison], I do belittle you, my intention is not actually to do that, but I think praising you in-front of them will make you think you are over smart, I am afraid that it may let you into that unnecessary overconfidence.

Similarly, I don’t allow you to do many things on your own, like crossing the road, travel alone to school, friends’ homes, I don’t allow you to long trips, or adventure sports.

There is the fear, I can’t word it here and it’s for both of us [your mom and I].

It may make you a little cocooned kid, but we are okay with it rather let you be unobserved.

Buddy, many things may be wrong from my side, but as a father, I think I won’t change and you have to bear it, at least till the time you will grow up and get mature in few years.

I am not sure, whether you will be able to understand all this, at this stage of your life, but I am sure, you will definitely, once you become a father.

Till then bear with me and later forgive me.

Your Dad!

Vb