Things we commit to self in difficult times…

While lying on the hospital bed during peak Corona pandemic, I decided to myself, if I get through this, I will buy a Jeans pant for self and keep wearing it. I know it’s strange wish, but somehow I decided it that time. I stopped putting it on since my college days.

This may seem strange, but like the above, many of us decide to ourselves something strange, weird, which otherwise we won’t do.

That can be anything, like doing some difficult penance, doing something which we are trying to avoid since long, or even ‘stop doing’ something which we are doing consistently like any addiction.

That difficult situation insists us to agree to anything and as a freewill, we give-in to that certain ask from self.

So, what causes us to think the unthinkable, undoable otherwise.

In the hospital, in that period, where you can’t even see people’s faces behind the PPE kits. The grim atmosphere at the hospital, the news every now and then on the surging death count from across the world and very near to you as well.

Corona has given a “near-to-death-experience” to those who got affected. It showed us the harsh reality of DEATH.

I think that’s the only reason, we try to keep the hope in us, committing something strange to self, subtly demanding to God – NOT THIS TIME PLEASE.

So, why don’t we do same things earlier, what stops us doing it?

Is it the less time we think we have, make us think in that line?

I will call up my friends, will go and meet my grandpa, whom I haven’t met lately, saying ‘love you to the parents’ which we generally take for granted. These and many things.

We try to make a bucket-list of wishes during that period, which are very normal and easily doable, which we, in regular life don’t give that much attention to.

We get busy and neglect thinking “we still have lot of time with us”.

We consider all these things as granted ones until one day when we face such uncertain situation, not knowing whether we will be able to make it.

Then we don’t care of ‘what people will say or will laugh looking us in that neon color t-shirt, we don’t give a damn to the boss’s reaction if took those 2 days leave and visit grandpa. Taking parents to the restaurant for dinner and just showing that I love you.’

Our heart and mind too agree to it without giving two separate opinions.

None of the things in that bucket list will be a big one.

Sitting there we won’t wish – I were the richest guy, I had a big car or to own big palace and had a big bank balance.

All the wishes that time are the ones which are in our reach and easily taken care of.

It’s our human nature, we don’t value things which are in our reach and keep running behind something else.

Once we achieve decided milestone, we keep thinking for the next one.

I would like to put an apt quote by Shakespeare –

Ambitions are like the ripples on water, they never cease to enlarge itself, till by broad spreading, it disperses to the nautical.

Then something life threatening happens, bringing us down to earth and tells us what are the simplest pleasures in life.

So, why to wait for the doomsday to make a wish list and then begging to God for the time to fulfil it, why thinking of it while standing at the threshold of life and death.

Right Now is the time.

I put on my Jeans and will add few more in coming time and do lot many things which I committed that time.

What are yours and are you on it? Let me know here.

Vb